Never was the Type

This teen testimony was submitted by Amanda from Arizona

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

Matthew 6:25-27

I’ve always heard of eating disorders, obsessions with body image and more. I was a tomboy and I didn’t ever worry about that stuff. I heard of girls my age always struggling with anorexia and bulimia and I was so glad that I didn’t struggle with the same thing. I’m 13 and “5’6”. I’m really athletic and very healthy.

I’m a Christian and of course the thought occurred to me that I would face a lot of temptation as I went through junior high. Sixth and Seventh grade was a huge success. I was so independent and was doing great spiritually and physically. But towards the end of my 7th grade year I began buying Seventeen Magazines and GL (Girl’s Life). I promised my mom I was just buying the magazines because I loved the fashion in there. And it was true for a while.

It soon became a habit to buy them monthly, and I always ended up looking at the skinny girls. I thought of this not as something that would put me down, but an inspiration to lose weight, so I worked every day at the gym with my mom. But soon I stopped, noticing that I had gained several pounds afterwards (120 to 125). I knew it wasn’t a huge deal but it had already influenced me and I’d never had flat abs.

I felt so fat. I was doing move auditions as well, and I didn’t think they would accept me because I wasn’t skinny enough. My mom kept telling me that the small pocket of fat on my stomach was there since I was a baby. But I didn’t want it anymore. Once, I even overheard my brother saying that in his classes he watched a video and learned that if you don’t eat for a certain period of time all your senses enhance. I thought that sounded amazing! I have horrible eyesight and am a bad listener. And that made it official.

I started to skip eating lunches and I made excuses to my mom and dad that I wasn’t hungry for dinner and for breakfast we’d rush out so fast my mom never noticed I hadn’t eaten. This went on for nearly a week. But throughout the week a scripture that I had read sometime, somewhere echoed in my head for the longest. I don’t remember which one, but I remember it saying that are body is a temple and that we had to guard it.

I felt so guilty but I told myself that I was only doing this for a short period of time, just long enough to lose the weight I wanted. I decided to do some research and see how other girls had started on anorexia and how they hid it. But I found this website and it was a perfect way to show how I got here.

Except, I read something in here. A scripture. And I had been trying my best to avoid anything to do with the bible, cause I knew it would stop me from doing this. Well, I ran across the scripture Matthew 6:25-27 and it made me realize the stupidity of my choices. Why should I damage this perfectly, healthy body the Lord gave me? Isn’t that just like telling God that the body he gave me isn’t perfect? I had read this scripture over and over before but it never really impacted me until today. Thanks so much.