My Battle with Anorexia
This testimony was submitted by Natalie Hoffman.
Perfection was something that I had always strived to achieve.
From an early age, I always wanted to be better than everyone else.
My father passed away when I was 4, of a tragic, and sudden heart attack. It shattered my family. I am an only child, and suddenly, my mom was in my life less and less, constantly having to work.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my life. I was a very happy child, and had a very great childhood. But around the age of 8, I had a sudden preoccupation with my weight. I ate a lot of junk food, and began to see myself as fat.
I remember a time, when I had weighed myself at a neighbors house, and was 97lbs, at about the age of 9 or 10. I went home and cried. I felt fat and horrible. When
I was 10, I reached 107, and that was my breaking point.
When I was about 11, I began eating little to no food.
I spiraled into the vortex of anorexia. I began picking at food, and cut out all junk foods. I began to withdraw from social activities, and confined myself to my home. I was suffering mood swings, and abnormalities. I developed amenorrhea. I lost myself, and became consumed in my eating disorder.
I was hospitalized on a feeding tube, and went through a weekly routine consisting of in and out visits to copious doctors. My life was centered around my eating disorder; I lost myself. I continued to lose weight and fight the disease until I got help with the Maudsley Approach, and went into remission. I still thought I was fat, but I maintained a healthy body weight.
But the summer I turned 13, I began to fall back into the vortex. When I am stressed, I deal with it by not eating. I am still battling the horrible disease.
You Are Loved
A Response from Taylor
Thank you for sharing your story! I know, sometimes, that it is hard to open up, its hard to let down the wall to tell others how you feel. I one summer went through a phase of hardly eating anything maybe 800 calories a day. My body began to shut down, I look back at pictures, and honestly, I looked awful!
I pray that you know how beautiful you are, you are gorgeous, I am constantly reminded by the fact that God looks at our hearts. Our hearts need to be set oh Him, that is it, we are beautiful through Him!
You are beautiful creation, God did not make a mistake. Here, think about it- when God created you, He knew how you would look at this age on this date and how you would look on your wedding day or at your 40th high school reunion. The Lord of all did not stand up in Heaven and create you and then go, oh Jesus, look at the mistake I made. He certainly DID NOT, and think when you think you are not pretty or beautiful that tears God apart. He is enthralled by your beauty!
I love you and pray God will comfort you during this time!
Taylor
